Written by Abby Durelli

Love languages: How to do everything with love

Do everything with love. All you need is love. Do what you love, love what you do. We could go on forever!

But love is not just for romantic relationships. It plays a key role in our development and completes the human experience. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs tells us that there are five necessities to life. The most basic are our physiological needs, followed by our needs for safety, love/belonging, esteem, and self-actualization. Yes, that means that after food, water, shelter and safety, we need love. Simply eating, drinking, and staying safe do complete us, but the love for ourselves, for others, and for our communities does.

And just as there are different types of love we require and enjoy, like self-love, familial love, and spousal love, there are various ways to communicate, and receive, the feeling of love.

Love languages

The 5 Love Languages™, by Gary Chapman, Ph.D., explains how different people with various personalities give and receive love in alternate ways. By learning to recognize these preferences in yourself and in others, you can begin to identify the root of your conflicts, connect more profoundly, and truly begin to grow closer.

Chapman’s five love languages include:

Acts of Service

Actions speak louder than words! Often, acts of service are seen as household chores or simple gestures to take something off your loved one’s plate. But it can be a slippery slope: no one wants to feel like a maid.

Instead of confining acts of service to household chores or making it feel like acts of servitude, think about something that your partner would truly appreciate with you. Maybe you can take the reigns on planning a night out, or you proactively take care of something you know they dread. It’s about supporting your partner through actions without losing the balance of a relationship.

Receiving Gifts

For some, receiving a heartfelt gift is what makes them feel most loved! Can’t get much simpler than that, but don’t get hung up on the cost or the quality of a gift: this really is a case of the thought or gesture counting for more. Simple, small gifts like flowers or surprising your partner with their favorite coffee will make their heart sing.

Quality Time

Here, giving the other person your undivided attention is what counts most. Taking a walk, going on a trip, or just simply being there with someone is what makes them feel loved.

Words of Affirmation

Glowing compliments using vociferous vocabulary makes those who gravitate to words of affirmation soar! There’s no risk of hyperbole here, so push yourself to pull out that thesaurus and dig deep on the compliments. It’ll go a long way!

Physical Touch

Nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate physical touch, so be sure to sprinkle in a healthy helping of hugs to make your partner feel appreciated and loved.

Love in all forms

Again, while at first all of these love languages might seem like they’re describing romantic relationships, think again! Think about your parents who love it when you stop by to say hi, even if it’s just for 20 minutes. Or your friend who sent you flowers when you were having a bad day. Or your colleague who sent an email just to thank you for a job well done. Letting people know you care is a very special and valid form of love.

At Siegfried, we value relationships and place a huge emphasis on them. One of the pillars of our MY Journey® program is Compelling Connections. We believe in building meaningful relationships with a wide variety of people by having a clear understanding of self and your impact on those around you.

Where I fall

Have you ever met someone that values all five love languages the same? Hi, I’m Abby, it’s nice to meet you. Does this mean my husband has his work cut out for him? Or does this mean that I’m a loving person who appreciates all forms of love? I’m going with option two! I wear my heart on my sleeve and truly love meaningful connections.

Spread the love

Looking to strengthen your relationships? Take and share the quiz and learn more about yourself and others!

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